As parents, we want to do everything we can to raise strong and confident children. To do this we must make corrections in behavior when a child acts out or inappropriately. But how do parents of children who are anxious make corrections to behavior without causing more anxiety? This is a question that many parents have and need an answer to. Anxious children are constantly afraid of getting into trouble or messing up. When a correction of behavior is made, the feeling of anxiety can be triggered. Below are a few top tips on how you can correct your child without making the child even more anxious.
Remember the purpose of correction and mind your voice
To begin, remember why you are making the correction to behavior. You are there to train your child to be the best that they can possibly be. Your job is not to embarrass your child or judge them. The goal is to teach. Remember this when you decide your best tactic to handling any given situation. You must also consider the voice you use. You want your tone and volume to reflect sensitivity. You want to speak in a normal tone, without raising your voice.
Allow Your Child to Correct Themselves
If you find that your child has made a behavioral mistake, ask the child what they did wrong. In most cases, the child knows exactly what they did and will become anxious because of it. By asking your child about what happened, they can begin to explain their behavior and working out what they did wrong on their own. You can then praise the child for knowing the issue and then discuss what to do.
Avoid Placing Blame
A big no-no when it comes to disciplining your anxious child is placing blame. You need to focus on what happened rather than what the child should have done. Avoid telling the child it was their fault and focus on the choice and how it should be corrected.
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/worry-wise/201504/10-tips-correcting-your-anxious-child
I appreciate what you said about placing blame. This seems like something that I might do, so I’m glad that you brought it up before I caused problems. Do you have any tips for finding a great therapist for children? My daughter is really shy, so I feel like I need someone awesome.